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New; Jokes LOL

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  • Started 4 years ago by vistamike
  • Latest reply from Hermitt
  • Topic Viewed 3884 times

vistamike
Posts: 10945

coolkid3245 request; https://www.howtogeek.com/forum/topic/sub-forum-for-lol-only?replies=6#post-313068

Well a starting point, now we need the jokes
How does a joke work?

Well here are a few that might pass;

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

__________________________

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

And or;

Posted 4 years ago
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Hermitt
Posts: 1310

Posted 4 years ago
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warlock
Posts: 4100

https://www.howtogeek.com/forum/topic/jaso?replies=2 Okay answers accepted here. Since who it was addressed to is no longer able to answer.

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322









Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.”

“I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
- Antone Roundy

A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest.
“Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I’ll be…”
The civil engineer breaks in:
“But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering to me.”
The programmer thinks a bit and then says:
“And who do you think created chaos?”

Posted 4 years ago
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hatryst
Posts: 3482

Ponderisms:

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

(via sickipedia)

Posted 4 years ago
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hatryst
Posts: 3482

I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"

She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."

"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"

I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."

--

Do you know what really makes me smile?

Facial muscles.

--

Fool your parents into thinking they have lost touch with modern technology by putting Formula 1 on the TV, then sitting in front of it with a joypad.

--

It's really difficult to find what you want on eBay.
I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.

--

I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes.

We haven't done a gig yet.

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

When you can come up up with something original...

Posted 4 years ago
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coolkid3245
Posts: 202

@hatryst
Your jokes are very punny.

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

Please concentrate in what u r suppose to do at work


Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

A selectation of puns / jokes from the web, some seen before, some....still needing moderation perhaps.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest..
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight.
These, of course, are only round figures.

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

I was on an elevator the other day, and the operator kept calling me 'son.'
I said, 'Why do you call me 'son'? You're not my father.'
He said, 'I brought you up, didn't I?'

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and on the table was a checkered tablecloth. I
t took him 2 hours to pass me the salt.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'
That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. Is it common? It's not unusual

People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.

Dear, must you spend so much money on food? "Sorry, darling, but you and the kids just won't eat anything else!"

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any.

She had a photographic memory but never developed it.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Math teachers have lots of problems.

Bridge tolls have increased significantly over a 5 year span

At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?"
"I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

Posted 4 years ago
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GuiltySpark
Posts: 4024

Mike,

You forgot this one...

Velcro! What a rip-off.

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

Except for 5 oldies, a good attempt.

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

Neil, I was gonna make that a sticky......

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

No stickies aloud... do it on the quiet.

Posted 4 years ago
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GuiltySpark
Posts: 4024

The Censored version!!!

Four Jamaicans were sitting around a campfire discussing Philosophy and things when the subject
got onto Speed.

1st Jamaican : I tink da fastest ting in da world is a T'ought, cause as soon as you tink, you t'ought it already.

2nd Jamaican : Nah man, da fastest ting is a Blink, cause as soon as you start, you done blunk.

3rd Jamaican : Nah, da fastest ting has to be Light, cause as soon as you flick da switch, da light come on.

4th Jamaican on hearing this says : No way boy, you is all wrong. Da fastest ting in da world is Diarrhea,
cause da other night before me could Tink, Blink or switch on da Light...me crapped meself.

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

Been there, done that. You is so right GS (even worse wen ya between da kettle, an da bog)

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's
advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.

Posted 4 years ago
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warlock
Posts: 4100

Pfizer Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Posted 4 years ago
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ProstheticHead
Posts: 3281

@Warlock. Sounds like your average Saturday night on the town to me. 'cept maybe the elderly part, although by no means exclusively.

Posted 4 years ago
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warlock
Posts: 4100

@Kevin, Your town sounds way more interesting than mine. If ever in Ireland have to look you up, to show me the town. Second thought, never mind I'm the elderly part.

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

I can tell you that Kevin is a nice bloke :) and Ireland and Eire, tis whiskey and Guinness.

Posted 4 years ago
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warlock
Posts: 4100

I'm in.

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598


Posted 4 years ago
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warlock
Posts: 4100

Still in, I think I know some of those blokes from awhile ago.

Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

What's the difference between a snake, a squirrel, and a chicken ?...............................................The first 2 taste like chicken !

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

Linda Lykes true or fable ?

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

TRAVEL PLANS ?

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots
with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes
you there

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport;
you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump,
and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and
I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important
to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as
I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets
the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my
age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year.
You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to
at least one unstable person.

My job is done!

Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty good in mine!

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

Some one-liners; some old, some new but none of them blue.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

Time; is what keeps things from happening all at once.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Every time I think about exercise, I lie down till the thought goes away.

Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Some days you’re the dog , some days you’re the hydrant!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Posted 4 years ago
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SarahJames
Posts: 6581

Seem familiar, Mike ;)
Some more:

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.....so true !!!!!!

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

Interesting computer / tech support related observations from the old days;

Tech Support: "How much RAM do you have in the computer?"
Customer: "32 megs."
Tech Support: "Are you using any RAM doubling software?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "So you have 16 megs of actual, physical RAM?"
Customer: "No. I have 8 megs. I installed [a RAM expanding product], and that gave me 16. I liked it so much I went out and got [another RAM expanding product]. So now I have 32."

Customer: "Do you people sell them megas?"
Salesperson: "Uh, sure, how much do you need, sir?"
Customer: "100!"
Salesperson: "I can only give you 64."
Customer: "Well, can't you throw in 26 more?"

Customer: "I need some 30 pin SIMM chips."
Salesman: "I'm sorry, we only have 72 pin SIMM chips."
Customer: "Can't you split them in two?"

Customer: "You people owe me a new computer."
Tech Support: "You're having trouble with your computer? What seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I bought some memory from you people, and ever since I installed it into my computer, it's been doing nothing but making grinding noises, and nothing works anymore!"
Tech Support: "Grinding noises?? It shouldn't be doing that!"
Customer: "I know that! That's why you people owe me a new computer, and I'm going to charge you for lost downtime and my inconvenience."

[Grinding noises from SIMMs? This was a new one]

Tech Support: "Sir, did you install those chips yourself or did someone do it for you?"
Customer: "I'm not an idiot! I did it myself. I put them right in that slot in the front of the computer, smart alec."

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

Tech Support: "What version of Eudora are you using?"
Customer: "Navigator 3.0."

Customer: "So do I go to Word or Excel to start XP?"

Tech Support: "What type of computer do you own?"
Customer: "I don't know. I just bought it."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "How many pins does a sixteen-pin cable have?"

Customer: "I would like to place an order."
Tech Support: "Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site."
Customer: "Web site?"
Tech Support: "You need access to a computer that's connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order."
Customer: "Where is the computer?"
Tech Support: "..."

Customer: "What does 'dual-core' mean?"
Salesman: "It basically means you have two computers in one. It also means you can plug your laptop into it."

TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

TODAYS EMAIL .............As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's hiney.
It's the tortoise life for me!
1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, but
4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It's a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck did stop here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world

beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

One off the TV;

If an earl gets an OBE does become an earlobe?

{OBE; Order of the British Empire}

Posted 4 years ago
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GuiltySpark
Posts: 4024

LOL.

@ Mike,

You been watching Milton Jones ? :)

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

Yep....and the expression on his face!

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

So papa, how do you like the iPad we got you?


Posted 4 years ago
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Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

Mike, brilliant. Sorta reminds me of an old PK we had. A nice new Teflon frying pan came out to the lighthouse, and he spent all middle watch (00:00 - 04:00)
getting "the black stuff off".

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

Jack Daniel's Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's Old No. 7 and poured a little whiskey in his mouth. His eyes rolled back and he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident

and carried on fishing, using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.

It was that damn snake, with two more frogs!

Posted 4 years ago
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ian2
Posts: 632

Had a Little Fight this Morning. :

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the
road, and slowly the driver gets out of the car,

and you know how you just get so stressed,
and life-stuff seems to get funny?

Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it. He was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me, and says,
"I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So I look down at him and say,
"Well, which one are you then?"....

And that's when the fight started

Posted 4 years ago
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bubbatie1
Posts: 1322

Winter Boots
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this)
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her
pupils put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling, and him pushing,
the little boots still didn't want to go on.

By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said,
'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.'

She looked, and sure enough, they were.

Unfortunately, it wasn't any easier pulling the boots off,
than it was putting them on.

She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on,
this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and
scream, 'Why didn't you say so?'
like she wanted to.

Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting
boots off his little feet.

No sooner had they got the boots off when he said,

'They're my brother's boots. But my Mom made me wear 'em today.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.

But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to
wrestle the boots BACK onto his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked,
'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She'll be eligible for parole in three years.

Posted 4 years ago
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vistamike
Posts: 10945

Once upon a time there was a chap, who after a bitter divorce, became very lonely. And so he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted an unusual pet to keep him company. After much discussion, he decided on a centipede, which he immediately named Carl. It came with a little white box which could be used as its house.

He took the box home and found a good location for it, and decided that he would start off by taking his new friend to the pub to have a drink. So he peeked into the opening on the box and said "Hey Carl, would you like to nip down to the pub for a beer?"

There was, however, no reply, and that bothered the chap a bit. A few minutes later he asked again and said "Hey, how about going down to the pub with me for a beer?" But again there was no answer from his new friend. So he waited ten more minutes thinking about the situation and then decided to ask one more time. He put his mouth up to the opening in the white box and shouted "Hey, you in there, would you like to go to the pub place and have a drink with me?

At this, a little voice came out of the box and said "No need to shout, hang on a minute, I heard you the first time. I'm putting on my shoes!"

Beware of Carl then......

Posted 4 years ago
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Hermitt
Posts: 1310

LOL!!! Good one Mike. LOL!!

Posted 4 years ago
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