Clippy sweater
Xbox Gear Shop

It wouldn’t be surprising if hundreds of years from now, people were under the mistaken impression that Microsoft was founded by Clippy, and not Bill Gates and Paul Allen. The little metal guy seems to continually reappear.

That enduring popularity is probably why it looks like Clippy is the star of Microsoft’s brand new ugly sweater, which matches the requisite ugliness with plenty of dorkiness as well. Those searching for the most ostentatious sweater to annoy their friends and relatives with would do well with this bright blue and green Windows version wishing onlookers a “Happy Holidays!” followed by an “Ok” that you can’t click on.

It’s available for $74.99 at the company’s Xbox Gear Shop, and before you balk at the price and click the little “X,” know that all proceeds will be donated to the College Success Foundation, alongside a $100,000 donation from Microsoft.

Besides, the people really paying a price will be those about to bite into their turkey and hear that one uncle joke, “Looks like you’re about to eat turkey. Can I help with that?”

Microsoft has been getting into the ugly holiday sweater game for five years now. It began as a stunt in 2017 when the company posted three made-up MS-themed ugly sweaters and asked the public to choose their favorite. But the massive response was no joke.

So in 2018 Microsoft created some Windows 95-themed sweaters as part of a small brand promotion, and then later began selling the sweaters to the public, beginning with a MS Paint design in 2020, followed by a Minesweeper one in 2021.

Born in Office 97, Clippy has been killed off and resurrected about as often as a comic book character. Public sentiment is often split. Some saw the wiry, Groucho-looking paperclip as an annoying uninvited guest to a Word document, and others as a helping hand, without the hand part. Clippy never evolved hands.

Regardless, you can be that bastion of help and/or irritation by donning one this holiday season, but don’t be surprised if it gets you dishes duty.

Profile Photo for Chason Gordon Chason Gordon
Chason Gordon is a staff writer and editor for How-To Geek. His writing has previously appeared in Slate, Vice, Input, and The Globe and Mail, among others. He currently lives in San Antonio, but is on a month-to-month lease.
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