How-To Geek

What You Said: How You Get Your Caffeine Fix


Earlier this week we asked you to share how you get your daily caffeine fix—your caffeine workflow if you will—now we’re back to highlight your caffeine swilling habits.

Many readers were what we would call caffeine opportunists—any port in a storm if the brew was hot or the cola jolting. Steve-O-Rama writes:

1cc syringe, straight to the arm. 8)

j/k I’ve got a variety of methods, and it mostly depends upon the ratio of motivation to laziness as to which I use on a particular morning.

If I don’t wanna muck about with it too much at all, I let Mr. Coffee take care of it. A little more time, and I’ll use the French press. If I need a large cup of 116 octane and I have five to ten minutes, I’ll use my trusty Melitta Ready Set Joe single-cup brewing thingy; it takes a #2 cone filter, and I control the brew speed by varying the rate at which I pour hot water into it.

As for grinding the beans, it’s pretty much the same story. No time, I throw in some Folger’s Gourmet (just like Jules said in Pulp Fiction lol). A few more minutes, and the cheapie ‘blender’ style grinder gets used on whatever grade of beans I’m trying to get rid of. I’ll use the burr grinder if there’s enough beans to make it worth firing up, and they haven’t been in the hopper for more than a few days. God I hate cleaning that thing.

Late in the day, or just don’t want coffee? I’ll take a cup of Irish breakfast tea. Stuff’s dark as coffee, and tastes absolutely amazing with a bit of cream. Real half and half only; none of that fake, powdered, probably-soylent-green-and-asbestos flavored crap. No sugar, either. That’s ruining the bitter end of the flavor spectrum, which is why you wanted a cup of coffee or tea in the first place, right?

Regarding pop, I’ll take a Diet Mountain Dew or a Diet Cherry anything. :)



Consuming a wide variety of sources wasn’t an unusual facet of the comments, but there it gets a little more serious is where readers started talking about skipping the liquid transport all together and just nailing back raw caffeine:

1 200mg when I wake up. Maybe one or two more through out the day, NO COFFEE, NO SODA, NO ENERGY DRINKS. I like the pill I can avoid empty carbs and sugars. Coffee I never really liked.

I also get some caffeine from a herbal energy pill I like. It is quite strong. Also I get some caff buzz some from a Korean NoSleep gum.

For an odd blend of skipping the liquid and still getting the caffeine we can turn to John Raguso’s comment:

I read about a French writer (I can’t remember which one) who had such a keen addiction to caffeine that he took to eating the grounds right out of the grinder—dry! no water, no milk , no sugar! No French press! Just grounds! So I was tempted to try it myself, The result: I have an ulcer the size of the Grand Canyon. A much better way would be to buy those chocolate covered beans that you can get at fancy coffee shops. They are delicious and quick!

We’re not going to lie: we absolutely love coffee but can’t even imagine eating the raw grounds. It sounds too much like some sort of jittery variant of the Cinnamon Challenge.

On the opposite end of the spectrum from popping pills and eating raw grounds, CAndrews waxes poetic about life on a coffee farm:

Having been fortunate enough to live on a coffee farm in South Kona Hawaii several years ago I processed my own. I picked the coffee cherries, dried the cherries, hulled them, and then roasted in a hot air popcorn popper. However, you will never pop popcorn in the machine again unless coffee roasted flavored popcorn is to your liking. Caffeinated was the only option. I was wide awake in Hawaii.

By the way, the best part of living on a coffee farm is the cool evenings when the the scent of the coffee flowers would waft through the house – they smell like a delicate jasmine.

That sounds absolutely amazing, it’s like a coffee lover’s heaven!

For more tips, tricks, and coffee brewing variations, hit up the full comment thread here.

Jason Fitzpatrick is a warranty-voiding DIYer who spends his days cracking opening cases and wrestling with code so you don't have to. If it can be modded, optimized, repurposed, or torn apart for fun he's interested (and probably already at the workbench taking it apart). You can follow him on if you'd like.

  • Published 02/24/12

Comments (7)

  1. Brian

    Gave up coffee in 95′. Drink White Tea now. Is used to be totally arrogant when I drank coffee. Now that I drink tea I don’t have that trait, but I practice being arrogant since most people are idiots and deserve every once I give them.

  2. Tim

    Thanks for the tips.

    There is way too much blood in my caffeine stream today, and this article should help!

  3. Robin Jones

    I have never drank coffee (well maybe a couple of times and it made me pass out) and don’t like the taste of tea very much, so like everyone else in that catagory got my fix through drinking coca cola. I gave up drinking that over 2 years ago and have never looked back… I am still a sugar junky though!

  4. Mark

    Gee, nobody is getting out the percolators our parents used… (I wonder why?)

    When I was in Lithuania driving late at night with my brother-in-law, he would occasionally reach into a bag and put something in his mouth. He offered the bag to me, and I took one of whatever was in there and popped it into my mouth without looking, and bit down. My mouth exploded with the tase of coffee and the feel of coffee grounds. After chewing a bit more, tasted pretty good and sure did the job of keeping driver and navigator awake!

    For the truly lazy try Turkish coffee grind the beans extra fine, put them directly into the cup and fill with water. When all the grounds have settled to the bottom of the cup, it is ready to drink. Either decant or just drink it beng careful of the last few sips, unless you like drinking mud…

  5. tommy2rs

    Got a big ole graniteware percolator that’s hung over every campfire I’ve built for the last 30 odd years. Still makes great coffee.

  6. MGtrek

    I used to work with a draftsman who would make his morning cup of coffee in our break room. He would take two heaping spoonfuls of instant coffee and put them in his mug. Then he would grab the coffee pot and pour in the brewed coffee instead of water!

    I used to tell him to just point the mug in the direction of his drawing board. It was strong enough to walk there on its own!

  7. Dark Reality

    The Melitta Ready Set Joe (over-the-cup filter basket) really is a godsend, it’s a shame they’re hard to find in brick-and-mortar stores. The biggest problem with drip coffee is that everybody wants the first cup and nobody wants the last cup. If it’s just you, you make a pot of coffee, and only the first cup is any good. By the time you go back for seconds, the quality has dropped. I fired my coffee maker, must have been 5-6 years ago for that bad boy. Then I got a second one for my wife.

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