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Microsoft Vs GM

(6 posts)
  • Started 6 years ago by PUPPYDOG
  • Latest reply from Lighthouse
  • Topic Viewed 790 times

PUPPYDOG
PUPPYDOG
Posts: 633

Another microsoft related email that i recieved a while ago.
just remembered it so i thought i would share with you all.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had
kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the
gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have
to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
on five per cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would
be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set
of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50%
or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by
the Justice Department.

12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine

Posted 6 years ago
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whs
whs
Posts: 17584

Interesting, but Mr. Gates forgot the laws of physics and Mr. Welsh forgot the laws of complexity. I would like to see GM build a car from 55 million parts with several 100 thousand functions that any driver can muck around with as he pleases.

Posted 6 years ago
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raphoenix
raphoenix
Posts: 14920

PUPPYDOG,

I have no idea who you are but do so enjoy your tales.

They Impart Parody Upon Truth !!

Kindest Regards,
Rick P. ♥ :)

Posted 6 years ago
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jack7h3r1pp3r
jack7h3r1pp3r
Posts: 2815

great lol

Posted 6 years ago
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Aleeve
Aleeve
Posts: 2818

I've seen this before :)
Still good!

Posted 6 years ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

And don't forget, that it if you want to switch off the car, you must close all the windows first!

Posted 6 years ago
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