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Christmas!

(27 posts)
  • Started 1 year ago by owen123
  • Latest reply from SarahJames
  • Topic Viewed 1046 times

owen123
owen123
Posts: 800

Perhaps a bit early, but hey.

So A couples questions to start to conversations:

1 - When is it okay to Put up Christmas Decs?

2 - When is it okay to Play Christmas Songs?

----------------------

My Answers -

1 - End of November, this year 29/30 of November.
2 - Start of November (but not to loud).

Owen

Posted 1 year ago
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GuiltySpark
GuiltySpark
Posts: 4024

Never and Never.

Bah Humbug!

Posted 1 year ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

I go with Bah Humbug!

Posted 1 year ago
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vistamike
vistamike
Posts: 10945

owen123, you looking for a stocking filler?

1 - When is it okay to Put up Christmas Decs? Never

2 - When is it okay to Play Christmas Songs? Never

And you should not be posting Christmas in November

Posted 1 year ago
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LadyFitzgerald
Posts: 2232

It's your life, you can do it anytime you want. Just be aware most people will think you're nuts if you do it too early.

Posted 1 year ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598


Posted 1 year ago
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CompWiz
CompWiz
Posts: 864

December 1st!

Posted 1 year ago
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vistamike
vistamike
Posts: 10945

Well, I'd start at 23/12/23.59
Then @ 24/12/00.01 take em down as good for nothing.

I don't do Christmas often.

Posted 1 year ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

Fogot to add the NOT NEVER, or,


Posted 1 year ago
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owen123
owen123
Posts: 800

Interesting Facts About Christmas

---------------------------------

> People under 16 normally can't buy Christmas Crackers

> Most of Santa’s reindeer have male-sounding names, such as Blitzer, Comet, and Cupid. However, male reindeers shed their antlers around Christmas, so the reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh are likely not male, but female or castrati.

Xmas Facts

-----------------------------

Christmas Jokes

-------------------------

> Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

> What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

----------------------------------

If companies run Christmas

If IBM ran Christmas...
They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time.

If Microsoft ran Christmas...
Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn't have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it anyway. Ornament/95 would weigh 1500 pounds (requiring a reinforced steel countertop tree), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your living room, would claim to be the first ornament that uses the colors red/green together. It would interrogate your other decorations to find out who made them. Most everyone would hate Microsoft ornaments, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the other tree types wouldn't work with their hooks.

If Apple ran Christmas...
It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course).

If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...
Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the colors of the ornaments would be prettier than most all the others. Options would be available for 'equalization' of color combinations on the tree.

If Dell ran Christmas...
Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?

If Fisher Price ran Christmas...
"Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree.

If The Rand Corporation ran Christmas...
The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and seamless black cubes. Christmas morning there would be presents for everyone, but no one would know what they were. Their service department would have an unlisted phone number, and be located at the North Pole. Blueprints for ornaments would be highly classified government documents. X-Files would have an episode about them.

If the NSA ran Christmas...
Your ornaments would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to monitor your tree for reasons of national security.

If DEC ran Christmas...
We used to have Christmas back in the '70s, didn't we?

If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas...
They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Thanksgiving, and placed out for viewing the day after the January Bowl Games.

If Sony ran Christmas...
Their Personal Xmas-ing Device, which would be barely larger than an ornament and flat, would allow you to celebrate the season with a device attached conveniently to your belt.

If the Franklin Mint ran Christmas...
Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted item from an authentic Civil War pewter ornament collection. Each ornament would weight about seven pounds, and require you to pay shipping and handling charges.

If Cray ran Christmas...
The holiday season would cost $16 million but would be celebrated faster than any other holiday during the year.

If Thinking Machines ran Christmas...
You would be able to hang over 64,000 ornaments on your tree (all identical) at the same time.

If Timex ran Christmas...
The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep on shopping.

If Radio Shack ran Christmas...
The staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything about them or what they were for. Or you could buy parts to build your own tree.

If University of Waterloo ran Christmas...
They would immediately change the name to WatMas.

Xmas Jokes

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS - How Do you do colours.

Posted 1 year ago
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Xhi
Xhi
Posts: 6298

If you think Blitzen, Comet and Cupid are male names you have probably never been to a strip club.

I add my usual Bah Humbug! to the chorus.

Posted 1 year ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

Owen, if you had thought those up, I would applaud you.

Posted 1 year ago
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owen123
owen123
Posts: 800

@LH & Xhi

Not My Jokes, From various internet sources.

Posted 1 year ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

What happened to Donner ?
Not this one,


Posted 1 year ago
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SarahJames
SarahJames
Posts: 6581

Got to add my Humbug here too if only just because it is so darn cute ;)

link

Edit: any reason is a good reason to add a sheep :)))

Posted 1 year ago
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Lighthouse
Lighthouse
Posts: 13598

As long as the white ones explode.

Posted 1 year ago
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vistamike
vistamike
Posts: 10945

Ewe right there Sarah!

Posted 1 year ago
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CompWiz
CompWiz
Posts: 864

@Xhi, LOL!!

Posted 1 year ago
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LadyFitzgerald
Posts: 2232

Baaa! What a bunch of Scrooges! Forget ewe! Methinks I will get my sheep together and get the flock out of here! ;)

Posted 1 year ago
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SarahJames
SarahJames
Posts: 6581

@ LH - there's a flock of blue badgers not far from here. Wouldn't want to see them go up in smoke!

Posted 1 year ago
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