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How-To Geek

The Frustrations and Agony of Printing [Humorous Chart]

It never fails…something always goes wrong just when you need to print those documents in a hurry!

Have you seen a printer message that belongs on this chart? Make sure to share it in the comments!

Printers – Something of That Ilk Blog [via Cheeseburger Network]

Akemi Iwaya (Asian Angel) is our very own Firefox Fangirl who enjoys working with multiple browsers and loves 'old school' role-playing games. Visit her on Twitter and .

  • Published 08/14/12

Comments (17)

  1. ekma

    you forgot the pie chart area that is a mix of the blue and red…that would be for HP drivers that you install off of the disk that comes with their printers that never seems to work…………………….

  2. bluelord

    connection error?? no one had one of those?

  3. Mike Klubok

    What about the printer the job is routed to is not the one you wish to print from? A few weeks ago I was working with a client who had that same issue. The selected printer was 150 miles away so I fixed it.

  4. YaWhatever

    I think you forgot about the printer being offline or unplugged by trolls or other mythical beings who hate printers.

  5. jeffeb3

    PC Load letter WTF does that mean?
    Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam?

  6. Superevil

    As a tech support guy there is nothing I hate more than printer calls. Luckily HP printers are pretty easy. Canons and Brothers are the worst.

  7. bobro

    agrees with superevil

    “hi we got a new printer its a canon”

    “great i will down load the drivers for you”

    *pull hair out*

    “well its printing but only on mondays, thursdays, and the 3rd friday of every month”

    damn you canon!!

  8. lizbit

    Or how about when using print servers you send your print and it just vanishes into thin air, no error nothing, just gone.

  9. Baradoch

    The default printer is “Send to OneNote”.

  10. Peter

    This is my lay-oriented translation of an error message that stops printing in its tracks all too frequently:

    “You haven’t been buying enough of our chipped, exorbitantly overpriced ink cartridges. Go out and buy a black one now! In fact, buy a couple of them, for good measure. It wouldn’t hurt to buy some cyan, magenta, and yellow ones, too. The expiration date on the ones you have is coming up fast. And when would that be, you ask? Don’t worry your little head with the technical details; *we* know when they’re expiring, and it’s *soon*. Just buy some more already. What’s that? You have to have *this* printout *right now*? Well, you could press the right arrow on your printer’s control panel and then press OK, but if something bad happens, it won’t be covered under your warranty. I’m not saying exactly *what* might happen, but if it’s bad, you’re basically screwed. By the way, your warranty expired two years ago. Have you thought about getting one of our new printers? You should. They’re really, really cheap, and besides, Costco doesn’t carry cartridges for your old printer anymore. C’mon. Go for it. You know you want to. Everyone else is doing it. You should, too. Seriously, the news ones are, like, almost free. But I digress. Let me know if you rashly decide to press those buttons and print using that dangerously old ink cartridge, so I can take shelter somewhere on the other side of the printer. Oh God! Here it comes! AAAAAAAH! Okay, so nothing bad happened that time and your document printed out just fine. You got lucky. Just go buy some more ink cartridges. Or one of our new printers. Your call which. If you don’t, we’ll be having this same talk again REAL SOON. That is all.

  11. Bov F

    Paper Jam…when there is no paper in the machine…

  12. Damino

    Brother are notorious for this:
    Printer: My cartridge is low, you need to change me.
    L’Me: Right you are my faithful printing friend, here are some nice new cartridges, nice fresh ink.
    *L’Me runs the “Cartridge Change Procedure for the Printer” and completes all the steps.
    L’Me: Alright printer, there you go, nice shiny new cartridges, lets do some printing!
    Printer: I’m sorry, I’m still under the impression my cartridges are empty, wait no they’re not there, oh wait they are, but you didn’t restart your computer afterwards, now I’m going to remember this moment forever and never let you put more ink in me,

  13. Damino

    New Printer: $39
    New Cartridges for Printer: $39

    …Buys new printer every 6 months.

  14. Bubby

    Carriage jam, clear carriage jam and restart printer…Well everytime I get this msg I remove the Color cartridge press ok, printer then has to deal with not having a cartridge instead, printer then asks me to insert cartridge, I nsert, close it and Voila it’s forgotten about carriage jam and works fine again

  15. Keith

    For @Bubby

    Now that was funny! It’s like the goddamn thing is human. : )

  16. Hilda

    Your printer is offline… translates to.. Someone (probably your mother) unplugged the printer’s cable while cleaning and forgot to plug it back in. Or simply unplugged it because all the cables connected to the computer/router are just too messy…

  17. winston

    just use KYOCERA printers. they’re awesome. :)

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